please don’t go: a poem

grief comes in waves

or so they say

feels like it comes

in hurricanes

I feel angry

I want to scream

sometimes it feels

like a bad dream

I wish I could’ve

eased your pain

helped you find

a better way

close my eyes

see you again

striped green sweater

my old friend

contagious smile

soft blue eyes

I trusted them

a million times

you saved my life

I couldn’t save yours

how badly I wish

I could settle the score

don’t pull the trigger

you know, I’m begging

I know your burden

it’s heavy and weighing

I’ll bear it with you

I’ll stay up all night

talk with you

and hold you tight

I know you’re gone

I can’t help but pretend

that you are with me

here again

-in memory of a dear friend

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twenty-three

twenty-three

and I’m not where I thought I’d be

thought I’d have a fancy career

my pathway there’d be perfectly clear

thought I’d be wearing power suits

classy jewelry and expensive boots

something with a lot of flair

and perfectly-styled, unfrizzy hair

was sure there’d be a house and more

was sure I’d have a garage with two doors

but I just have a regular job

and I gotta admit, I’m still a slob

I still wear converse and my flannels

still go to the store in my pajamas

never been able to tame my hair

but if I’m honest, I really don’t care

’cause when I look around and see

everything that surrounds me

I realize I have all I need

and it has nothing to do with any things

but everything to do with we

you and they and she and he

how lucky am I, without want or need

for it’s people that make my life complete